A re-post by Jessica Stillman from Inc…
I exercise each week with the help of a nifty fitness app (Ladder—it’s great) that offers workout plans from a personal trainer and encouragement from other users. The instructors are knowledgeable and the community encouraging. But neither is my favorite thing about the app.
My favorite thing is when other users share pictures of their pets.
Now, seeing a border collie doing downward dog right along with their owner is, of course, super-adorable. And I am not going to lie. I am a pet lover through and through. Animal pictures make me irrationally happy.
But my giddiness at seeing someone’s golden retriever running buddy isn’t just about the universal appeal of cute animals or my over-the-top animal obsession. According to recent research, it reveals a useful truth that can help you build relationships not just at the gym, but at work too.
If you want to connect with people more deeply, the Wharton School at the University of Pennyslyvania study indicates, sharing a picture of your pet is an ideal way to do it.
Sharing personal information at work is a minefield
The study was born out of a common modern conundrum. Should you connect with colleagues on social media, and if so, what should you share?
Like the rest of us, the research team realized that social media offered both promise and peril for workers. It can help you feel closer to teammates, which just might make you happier and more successful.
“One of the things that we found in the study is that people will be much more comfortable connecting to other people who disclose personal information,” Wharton’s Nancy Rothbard, who was involved in the research, explained in one podcast interview.
But then again, seeing your boss downing a beer with his bros or joking about her colonoscopy (or your boss seeing you doing the same) blurs boundaries that make a lot of us uncomfortable.
As another Wharton professor, Adam Grant, once observed: “Authenticity without empathy is selfish. Of course we should be true to our values, but one of those values should probably be caring about others.” Your sharing shouldn’t cause others discomfort.
How are office workers navigating this charged landscape? To find out, the researchers conducted a series of in-depth interviews and also reviewed data on actual social media use.
Different people, different dangers
To no one’s surprise, the interviews confirmed that the question of social media use and how much personal information to disclose at work is fraught.
As Rothbard memorially puts it, interviewees “would equate connecting with a boss on Facebook or Instagram as equivalent to connecting with their mother. It was sort of the same horror.”
The team also found that the calculation of what kind of personal information to share was different for different types of people. Women who disclosed more personal information were generally assessed more positively, for instance. This is likely because of stereotypes that suggest women should be warm and friendly. Male bosses who shared a lot, on the other hand, were quickly seen as creepy.
To reap the benefits and avoid the potential pitfalls of social media at the office, workers employed various strategies, from being an open book to carefully curating their audience or content. (You can read more about these strategies here if you’re interested).
But whatever strategy they employed, nearly everyone was attempting to hit the same target. They wanted to come across as warm and human so they could connect on a deeper human level. But they didn’t want to embarrass themselves or anyone else by oversharing or prying.
A pet strategy for connection that works for everyone
Handily, Rothbard and her colleagues uncovered a secret weapon that anyone can use to hit that elusive sweet spot — your dog.
“Cute dog pics are a very, very hot commodity,” Rothbard correctly observes.
“If you have a cute dog and you want to post pictures of them, that’s a very good strategy, because people always love them, and they feel like they know you, and they feel connected to you. It gives them a sense of warmth that you’re displaying and a feeling that they know something about you that’s important, and that’s not fake or surface level. So, that personal disclosure really helps to create a bond between you and your fellow co-workers,” she goes on to explain.
This tallies with a large body of social science research that shows people tend to evaluate others on two basic qualities, warmth and competence. When we meet someone our first instinct is to ask: are they nice? Do they wish me harm? And, are they any good at their job? Can they do the things they say they can do?
Sharing pics of your weekend keg stand might get you tagged as warm, but it’s not going to do anything for perceptions of your competence. On the other hand, nailing every assignment but never saying a peep about your personal life is great for competence but lousy for warmth. Research suggests those that go furthest project both qualities.
You know what also allows you to project warmth without undermining your air of professional competence? Your dog doing yoga with you.
The bottom line here for everyone is a research-backed permission slip to let loose and pepper your team’s Slack channel with your cat’s wacky antics or dog’s doofy smile. You always knew your pets were super cute. Now you have data to prove they are also a secret weapon for connecting with others.
But there’s also another takeaway here for entrepreneurs and other business leaders, illustrated by my love of my fitness app’s pet picture days. If you want your team or your users to bond without crossing boundaries that make anyone uncomfortable, pets are a go-to move.
Create that dedicated chat for sharing animal pics. Show off your pooch at the beginning of the Zoom call. Organize a cutest pet pic contest among your team or your customers.
Getting people to talk about their animals is a science-backed way to help them truly connect without oversharing or awkwardness.
The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.
Source: Inc.com
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